The First of Many Talks

After being able to talk with Rev. Simmons for the first time. I think I may have gotten a lot out of the sit down conversation. First of all I have to admit that I have a true problems with communicating my feelings because too many times have I been stepped on and pushed to the side.

So it is very understandable that I no longer want to be involved with parties that have this affect on me as well as closing myself to the world.

For a very long time now I have felt that I should give things a try learn to love people in different ways but thus far that has gotten me no where. Don't get me wrong I will do anything for any friend that needs me or for any member of my family that needs my help in any way but I have yet to find that one person that I can be in-tune with and he in-tune with me.

But according to the reverend it seems that pride is getting in my way. Especially with me not wanting to believe that a person has truly changed for the better. Something is leading me to believe that I shouldn't believe this person and that anything he says is just a bunch of bull.

Yes my heart has hardened to a point that I am able to recognize when I became lost in this person that I wish I hadn't become but some choices that I've made and experiences have lead me to become this hardened being.

So after this talk I hope to be able to find me and possibly work on future relationships if any are to develop.